Did you know?

TWO WEEKS SINCE MY SURGERY!

It's crazy how time flies when you're having fun! It was just a little over two weeks ago that I was kind of freaking out about whether or not I would be prepared to do this. I didn't know what to expect and it was just crazy to know that I would have a different face. It was a big deal to me... and frustrating.

I remember that I was scared because I knew that I wasn't scared. As weird as it is, people would ask me if I were nervous... and I would tell them that I wasn't. I'd explain what I was getting done... and they'd cringe and tell me to be prepared for the pain.

TRICKED YOU!

I am glad to say that I haven't been scared... and I think that I've been tough. I feel like I have tackled this and I am glad to say that it didn't hurt. I'd recommend it to anyone who needs to get it done. It's not nearly as bad as what it is made out to be.

But I did get to miss exams. I don't know how I feel. If anyone knows me... they'd know that it's not like me to do something like this. I guess it's not normal to get your jaws broken... but I would have almost preferred to have written my exams. It's just something that I am used to and it's part of what is expected out of high school. Actually, it is probably the only thing that is scheduled and promised in high school. High school has exams... and you can count on that. Everything else about it is like... pulled out of a hat.


That's me yesterday, sporting a very hazy bruise on the left cheek. I am numb around my nose still... and it's pretty weird. My upper lip is still numb too... and there is a nice and neat stitch left in my upper lip that does not want to come out. Cool eh? I think that it's grunge, another piercing.

Here I am today. Besides the numbness and swelling around my nose... I think that this is it. Here is my new face, almost. Ahhh, I don't see a lot of difference. It's like I kinda planned this... because my new glasses are waiting for me at the eye doctor.

OFF TO CORNER BROOK TOMORROW!

I am getting myself unwired! Will keep in touch!

-Chelsea

Don't. You. Worry. There's. Still. Time.

NEGLECT!

By no means am I sick and tired of revealing the deflating of my face! Dad's internet connection absolutely sucks... so here comes some compensation.

I do have the pictures though.

Okay. This is me on Friday. Despite the special effects that a flash can offer... I am still quite yellow at this point! I went to my dad's for the weekend, for a change of view. I was kinda in my mom's house for a week. (Love you Mom... just wanted a reminder as to why I am always over your house, right?)

This was what Saturday was telling me. My brother had just insisted on starting to watch the first season of One Tree Hill. I started it that night...

And this is me on Sunday! Even though I stayed awake all night watching OTH, I was allowed to sleep all day! I mean, what else could I possibly have to do? The worst part about Dad's is that he insists on cooking all of these great meals and laughs at my temptation once, "Chelsea, supper is ready!" is said. I swear that he'd serve up my plate if he knew that it wouldn't end up in his face.

Here I am today. Twelve days post-op. It kinda looks like I am wearing the same shirt... but they're different! My color palate is just a little off. My bruises are still there... but they are certainly fading away. I feel like ripping my braces off and indulging in (INSERT ANY FOOD ITEM HERE).

That's how serious I am.

At the same time... I am really enjoying this. I really like progress and I really like the progress that I am getting. It's so cool to me. I like medicine. And orthodontics. I kinda like this.

I don't even mind being wired shut that much. It's embarrassing sometimes when I can't get my point across with my spit-soaked words... but that's who I am. I've always had some sort of lisp or something. This just makes it funnier. I now have somthing to blame it on. It's also kind of comforting to not feel obligated to talk. I find myself not saying things during crucial times because "I can't talk!" It helps me... because I have a lot to say. Then, there are times that I have nothing to say... and I am actually thinking, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY RIGHT NOW! This is where my jaw thing does me well. I don't need to say anything if I can't talk. (I can talk, I really can).

I can't open my mouth. AHH! It makes me mad too. I want to be able to just scream. And lick my lips. And play with my braces. And breathe dumbly with my mouth open. And look like I am catching flies. And have a liberating sneeze. And yawn without getting toned cheek muscles from straining it. And eat. HALLELUJAH!

I think I just made a religion reference.

Yeahhhh... this jaw thing has GOT to be undone.

-Chelsea

What a cute little nose

That's what I'm saying. This is me right before my surgery, then... today. It's pretty cool to look at. My bottom lip used to be, "pouty"... we will say. Now, it's the opposite. My chin is a little shorter... and I guess I look more proportioned. It's amazing what a little jaw breaking could do! Wow!

And I have developed a hooked nose? I guess that makes complete sense. Considering that it is numb and it looks like there is a gumdrop on it, I am thinking that this hook is temporary. I didn't think that the tip of my nose had any ties with my jaws...

And... my jaundice-looking skin is "temporary" too... right?

Today was good. I took my naprosyn (anti-inflammatories) on my own accord, and watched this season's House on the internet. I attempted orange juice this morning... which has been a regular on my menu. All of a sudden, it starts to burn my mouth. I felt like I was drinking battery acid. I guess that means that my stitches are coming out... or something is happening.

It's been a week since this...

Haha... that was before the yellow. I know that it's a self-portrait... but I can promise you that I was too out-of-it to even remember it. The scarf of icepacks around my neck is telling me that I was still in ICU at this point. It's really crazy how fast time is going.

My skin got really different too. It's really shiny. It looks like I am sweating in pictures, but... I guess it's my new natural glow. This explains my soaken-zombie state in this...


Haha. I am happy that it's funny to look back at these things now. Last week I was too embarrassed to even post this... but now it's just crazy. My bruises were fresh here... nice and purple/brown. My radiance is obvious here... but it looks like I just finished eating some Mary Browns. I wish.


And, this is me today. Eight days post-op.



And, this is me getting more and more back to myself. Photoshoot.



Oh, bruises.

-Chelsea

Deflating

You know that expression, "PUMPED!" Well... I am becoming, technically, LESS PUMPED! My face is going down... I think. Unless I am just getting really used to this. I am hoping that it is becoming less swollen though.

I must say that I didn't do much today. Well, aside from everything that I have been doing? I think that I am becoming a waste, but it's okay. I could be a drug addict or something, you know... a COMPLETE waste.

Actually, it's not that far from reach. Codeine is within my home.

I have also decided that my lips are impermeable to any sort of moisture. They are SO DRY. And I think that this has to do with the idea of synthetic moisture. I mean, that's why we have tongues, right? I can't lick my lips because MY TONGUE IS ENCAGED BEHIND MY TEETH. I guess that if I stayed concentrated, I could lick my way through my teeth to savour my lips...

This is one of the cons of having this surgery. I miss licking things.

Another one, which is probably the most obvious is...
FOOD!

I am officially craving things now... and it really hasn't been bad until they talked about hamburgers on Oprah today. The day will come...

We are going to have a party to EAT. It will be sort of like potluck. I will give you the name of an item to bring, and then we will meet at a nice place... where you guys can watch me eat what you brought. Oh, you have to bring something for the microwave for you to eat too. I couldn't possibly share.

AND there is no pain today. I am getting feeling back around my chin and the areas of my cheeks, nearest to my ears. It's pretty cool.

I have nothing else to complain about!

-Chelsea

Shrek VS Little Lulu

This is me... Little Lulu form, posing on the warm sandy North West River Beach.
I just thought that you'd appreciate my new body!

Reality is telling me that this is how I am looking today.

I think that my swelling went down a bit. Before, I could nestle a cheek in one hand, but now there is room for... perhaps a piece of paper AND my cheek. I am not sure about how much progress that is, but progress is progress. My eyes are less swollen too... which is didn't really benefit me today because I was really nostalgic. I slept the entire day and felt like crap. I felt weezy and kinda fluish. I just think it's the pressure though, because I don't feel any pain whatsoever.

The newest phenomenon is the spreading of my bruising down to my neck and on my chest. I am starting to get feeling back underneath my chin... which makes me believe that the numbness isn't permanent. The only thing is that it's reallllllly tender. I guess that the bruising shows that.

Other things that seem to be happening a lot within the last day include muscle spasms and tension. At the most random times, my jaws get these overwhelmingly horrible sharp pains that give me the shivers. It's so weird and it makes my face do all of these uncontrollable things. It's not that I can actually move my face on my own... but it does weird things. I'm glad that nobody is there to laugh at me... because I am sure it's something that a circus freak can do.

While attempting to talk for a long time, my subconcious mind is trying to tell my jaws to move, so it creates a lot of pressure. It's like someone is both pushing my jaw shut and prying it open at the same time, so I think that it's confused. I've stopped drooling a lot. Now, it's just minor.... haha.

Other than that, I am fine. I have progressed in my House watching and I think that I just might have enough time on my hands to actually find a graduation dress.

Riight.

-Chelsea

Yahoooooooooo

Good day!

I just woke up and I am watching House. I am just trying to tell you that I am having the time of my life! I get to sleep all day and drink as many juices as I want. Although, today has been the most interesting so far.

Just to give you an insight as to what I am eating... here it is.


My fridge has every liquid possible, but I am still unappetized. I don't feel hungry, I just feel that I have no energy. I can't really stand up that long... or I will feel like I am going to pass out. I guess that my daily regiment of takeout was a beneficial source of energy! I have lots of milkshakes that I can drink, but milk makes me feel like crap. It tastes good... but then I feel nauseous. Today marks my first time feeling this. I didn't feel horribly sick, but I was more scared of what it would be like trying to barf my guts out and not open my mouth. So, I just lid on my bed and tried to think myself out of it. I feel fine now.

I also found out that McCain Berry Bunch is the best solution to getting my medicine down. It's one of those frozen juices that require very little knowledge to mix... and it's perfect. It's light and tastey, and it lets me get that horrid taste of anti-inflammatories out. Eeeeeouh.

I have been taking pictures of my dental progress for some time now. Well, mainly when I started, then the day before the surgery, and now... today. I decided to show you guys, even if it is not the most candid sight. I guess that you can appreciate orthodontics much more after seeing it!

So, here i was on November 7th, 2004. That is when I actually got braces. It was embarrassing and painful... but I didn't want to have those crazy rabbit teeth anymore. They told me that I would get my jaw surgery in May of 2006, and then get my braces off after completing 24 months, which would have been November of 2006.


After over three years of braces! Dr. Jackman had to find a new surgeon because the other one died... so they finally squeezed me in. I was way past due and my teeth weren't moving a lot anymore because they were as straight as my jaws would let them be. The teeth were straight, it was just that my jaws wouldn't let them fit together good. So... you can see that they are not symmetric and there is a space between the jaws.

This is where the surgery kicked in. My jaws are clenched together due to some heavy duty elastics. It's kind of hard to get a good picture because I can't feel my face and it's hard to maneuver something that I can't feel. But, now you can see that my jaws are aligned because the centers of both my top and bottom jaws are now lined up. It's all pretty cool.

And here is my vogue pose for today. This is me actually forcing my eyes open... because they are swollen and blackened. It looks like I got in a horrible bar fight or something. My bruises are like... neon yellow today.

And, I am feeling no pain.

-Chelsea

Last bag of chips

This is me indulging in my last food before surgery. I figured that since it is a momentous occasion, that you just might want to watch it! (I think that my mom likes to hear her voice too much)

Here I am

It's been a while and I feel that I can actually do this now. It isn't a hard task, I just now that I haven't updated since Tuesday... which means that I have a lot to tell.

First thing, I survived. We went in at about 8am. I just did some questions with the nurse, and I was given scrubs. They were hot, I must say. I decided to tie the waistband, just for the minimized waistline, and highly defined hourglass look. Afterwards, I just chilled in the "surgery daycare" until after 10 sometime, which was when my surgery took place.


I went into the pre-op room, where the walls were plastered with findings of some surgeons over the years. There were huge frames of all of thes weird things, like coins, hooks, and Barbie toys... all found within kids. It was weird, but definitely something to calm you down before going in. I talked to Dr. Harris, who was my anesthesiologist. She just asked me questions and told me what she was going to do.

Then, I got carted in.

The room was extremely bright and just like what you'd see on any medical drama. There was a guy prepping me and I asked him about the music. I went in and they were playing "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zepplin. It was just funny because it's like... my dad's song, and the idea of heaven in the OR probably isn't something that you'd laugh about. So, we laughed... together.

Then they said that I was going to start to get blurry vision... and, and, and...

I woke up in the recovery room, I think.

Then I woke up in ICU. Apparently, I was bleeding a lot through my nose and my mouth, so I need to be watched. I just remember being asked if I was feeling any pain. I wasn't, and I haven't been at all. I am pretty sure that I was stoned, and I am pretty sure that I kinda am right now. I remember waking up every hour and looking at the time... and I remember nurses looking at me and asking if I was okay. I remember choking on my blood and making my mom walk away from me because she was freaked out. I remember asking to pee a lot. I remember ice. I remember drooling, too much.

I chilled in the ICU for Wednesday night... I watched Shrek the Third... and drank about 50ml of apple juice. I moved to the fourth floor on the Thursday. I can't really remember much. I watched Seinfeld and got to shower. I laughed at the idea that they gave me really watered-down Cream of Wheat for breakfast on Friday. I didn't drink it.

On Friday, we moved to the hostel. It's like a hotel in the hospital... and I had to go to an appointment on Newfoundland Drive with Judy, Dr. Bourget's nurse. She gave me some prescriptions and I got to go out in public! What more could someone ask for? I sat in the lobby and fell asleep. I went to Shopper's Drug Mart... and fell asleep. I went back to the hostel, and slept. A lot.

Over the days, I managed to collect plenty of teddybears and liquids, even though I wouldn't drink much. I have a lot of fluffy things... which hung out with me during my state of drooling in utopia.

My dad came out on Friday night for some work and to visit. We met at the hostel... where we realized that I now have his cheeks. The only thing is that his are permanent and mine are considered "temporary."

They gave me a lot of medicine. I have some codeine, anti-inflammatories, mouth washes... and sinus relief. I do not feel any pain whatsoever, not even hunger pains! The only thing that I can feel is pressure, and that only happens when I do certain things. I can't bend down or I can feel all of my blood rush to my head. Actually, I feel like my head is like 50lbs. I have spit build-up all of the time... but it actually is not as bad as what is seems to be.

I flew home on Saturday, on a regular Air Labrador flight. Dad got the entire back row for us, to kind of sway away from the embarrassment of having such a huge head. I was knocked out with codeine, so I slept the entire way. Let's just say that my IDs were pointless. I do not look like the registered Chelsea Ford of my driver's license. Everything is so funny to me.

Of course, my lovely Aunt Shell pleased me with her creative love.

I am bruised up a lot and I woke up this morning with my eyes blackened and swollen shut... but nothing is painful because it just feels like my dentist went nutz with his needles before a root canal. It's all deadened and I can't feel my face whatsoever. My bruises are green, so I kinda feel like Shrek, or even a godforsaken frog. I haven't really been drinking much... because I am not hungry... but I am getting better with it. I have already lost weight.

So, this is how I look right now. I even did my hair for you!

And, this is how I look while I am trying to build up the courage to take medicine. It's about an hour process.

The most frustrating and beautiful thing (at the same time) is the idea of blending. Mom invested in this really cool blender with eighteen speeds... but I have already ran out of ideas. My fridge is full of a lot of shakes and juices, but I can never think of anything that is salty... and a liquid. If you know me, I'd love to be able to plunge into Pizza Delight, grab a huge pizza, add extra sauce, and blend it. But, I can't do the food-mixing thing. So, I strained cream of chicken soup tonight, and I am already sick of it.

BUT, I did get this great recipe from my surgeon. I blended a Jos Louis, two scoops of icecream, a chocolate pudding, and half of a cup of milk and got the biggest sugar rush ever. I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to run a marathon! You could be the next Lance Armstrong or something...

So, there it is. I am done surgery and I have an appointment in Corner Brook on the 1st of February. I am not sure about when I will be going back to school, or work, or... anything. I have no idea of how I am going to look... I was just assured that my swelling WILL go down, and my skin has not turned permanently green. It's actually stretched to its capacity... and when I smile, it has stretch lines. Imagine stretch marks on your face! haha.

I'd kill myself.

LOVExo

Bidding farewell to my bone structure

This is kind of cool to me. In twelve hours, I will be about to "go under the knife." In about fifteen hours, I will have a completely different face. Beyond all of the swelling and bruising, I am going to look completely different. I guess the the only thing that I can do is embrace this idea... because I doubt that any doctor would do the reverse procedure on me, just because I am not completely satisfied. I am not worried about what everyone else is going to think, but only what I am going to think. Anyone's face is like... the method of expression, and that's a big thing. Let's just hope that I have no resemblance to any ungodly creature.

Oh wow.

I am pretty interested in the anaesthetic aspect of it all. I don't know how I am going to react, but I imagine that it's going to be pretty freaky to have to countdown from ten, and then find myself in the recovery room once I get to nine. I hope that I don't go ballistic and do back-flips in confusion. I can't imagine how my mom is going to take it.

My dad is coming in too... which is good for many reasons. Well, of course, I get to see him, AND he can bring our bags of shopping back home with him on his flight. It's all perfect, but sadly... my bank account cannot agree. It's okay to shower myself with gifts, right?

Wish me luck...

and I will communicate (I was going to say "talk") as soon as I can.

-CHELSEA, the one from January 15th, 2008

Up to par

I am officially ready for surgery. Everything is done, and the next time that I have any appointment with a surgeon is going to be on Wednesday, the actual date for surgery.

We went to the Janeway today for the appointment at one. My grandfather met us there, which is probably fitting because he can send anyone to a hospital. He just needs to know what is going on at every point in life, and it kinda made Mom want to check into the mental ward.

I am now a member of Eastern Health, and I have my own admitting card. Everyone around me was in their enfants years... but the jungle themed walls were comforting. One kid was a complete hillbilly and insisted that he get a "pinned" room for the blood collection, so he won't squirm and fight the nurse. I hope that she didn't let him out of it yet.

I got my blood pressure, temperature, etc. done by some RN. She wasn't very pleasant. Actually, nobody was that pleasant or welcoming, especially for a childrens hospital. It's just a little confusing.

Tomorrow (well, technically today if you note that it is past midnight) will be my last day of eating solid foods for a while, and I have to fast, starting at a TBA time. This means Swiss Chalet. And Mary Browns. And Subway. And New York Fries. And. And. And. And. And.

WOW.

Becoming reality

All of the facts are quickly forming, and surgery is in three sleeps. Everything is becoming a milestone to me. Like, this is the last time that I am going to celebrate the 13th of January with this face. Just a thought.

We had our first pre-op today. We were picked up by our Nunatsiavut driver, Faye (who wears Vans slip-ons), then carried on to the doctor's office on Newfoundland Drive. We talked with Dr. Bourget's assistant... but I don't know her name. She is very cha-cha and definitely has a few Louis Vuitton purses in her possession. She explained what I should expect, which was also given in my "bible." I won't feel pain, but instead, uncomfort. I will be numb and swollen up (this is where she actually blew her cheeks up similar to what my dad naturally has).

Once Dr. Bourget came back from his lunch, he showed us models of my moldings. It was clearly sawed apart and glued back together with some sort of handy glue. He is going to make three incisions on the top... and "simply" move the bottom jaw back and to the centre. He said that it's going to take about two hours, and Dr. Jackman apparently prepared me well for the procedure.

I'd like to think so... since I was supposed to get this surgery in May of 2006. (This is January of 2008).

I was supposed to get a medical sort-of-thing before I came here, to fill out a sheet that is labelled "Same day admission surgery"... which we kind of forgot about. Thinking about it, it would have been pretty much impossible to get it done at the hospital in Goose Bay. In order to get an appointment there, you have to be nearly dying... and even if you are nearly dead, they would just prescribe you some ibuprofen and rest. Sadly, I don't have a family doctor that would fall under the title as the "Ford Family Doctor, MD"... which leads to my next point.

This form is apparently crucial, which does not make sense, because it only asks someone to tick off all of the chronic diseases that I do not have, etc, then sign the bottom. So, we go to the clinic downstairs, because the doctors would not have a problem doing a quick medical with me.

We talked to the receptionist. "Well, we already have 15000 patients, and we are not accepting more. The doctor kind of got disgruntled with me for even asking to do the medical... plus she doesn't even know you guys, so how does she know that you are telling the truth?"

I gave her this look for two reasons:

A) most people are intimidated by heavy duty metal; and

B) she just might feel some pity for the jaw problems that are clearly depicted in my "growl" face.

It's safe to say that I don't have a doctor that would know about my family history. Anyone could lie about anything, so I am not sure about how personal this doctor's relationships are with her patients.

Besides making personal attacks on the clinic girlz, we managed to do some shopping. Out of everything that we managed to buy... I am most excited about a few beneficial purchases.

I am thinking that the idea of having a brightly-colored assortment of dishes will be motivating for my liquid diet. The straws are attached, so I am not sure about what more I could possibly want!

But, the most functional is definitely this one...

It's spill proof! This feature is especially cool in case I become an alcoholic. The best part about it all is that everything was like $0.97 each!

overandout.

-CHELSEA!

Primetime

So, I got this nifty webcam for christmas, from Tyler. Contrary to my belief, webcams come with SPECIAL EFFECTS these days. I have no way of explaining this... for Mom's exercise routine in the background and Mom and Giz's conversations have no words that can describe.

I guess that this is coherent to my jaw, for my bite is motioned countless times. Note the deep concentration that I use because everything is actually the opposite of how I see it.

Prelude to my bimaxillary osteotomy

I figured that it'd be the best approach to try and let everyone know what is happening to me, and to try and cut down on the surprise once you see me again. So, hey!

I am in St. John's. Actually, I am at the Guv'nor Inn... with my mother, and her friend "Giz." Giz is here for some other appointments at the Health Science Centre, so... we decided to stay in the same area of this rinky-dink hotel. They put us out in the "courtyard" section of the hotel first... meaning the dark alley behind the hotel that isn't even connected to the hotel. We went back there and were greeted a charming, "HEY LADIES," by a bunch of Newfie gangsters, with their decked-out Cadillac. Perhaps they were Gazeebow Unit. They moved us, so now I am comfortly in the upstairs version of the exact same room. This will due until surgery day.

So, my first pre-op is tomorrow. I get to be informed of the procedure... and possibly grossed out. I watched this really cool video on youtube. It pretty well shows what I think I will be going through. http://youtube.com/watch?v=TwcwYWAkggY.



I am still trying to embrace the idea that I can still open my mouth. Some things are easily taken for granted... and I am trying to stay away from taking advantage of my mouth-opening capacity.

I know that Dr. Bourget, my surgeon, (http://www.drbourget.com/) did impressions and pans, etc., so he can do a mock-surgery beforehand. I guess it's pretty precise stuff. He said that my lower jaw is to be aligned, since I have an asymmetry that cannot be fixed with braces. My lower jaw is not ratio to my upper jaw, so it can be fixed by bringing the lower jaw back a little. My upper jaw needs to be widened... which means the usage of plates and screws in the area between my nose and front teeth.

Oh, and I need to get my four wisdom teeth out too.

I don't know how I am going to feel and what I am going to do with myself. I know that my surgery is on Wednesday, and anything beyond that will have to be improv. I don't know what to expect... and especially how I am going to look. This is like... the most life-sculpting thing that I have ever done and there is nothing that can precisely tell me what is going to happen. That is what scares me... and the only thing that scares me. Yet.

I know that I have a bunch of people who are going to be there whenever I need them... like for recipe ideas, and to possibly translate my lack of speaking and hand gestures into something communicable. I know that I am off of school for awhile, and work too... which is probably the best thing that this entire situation has to offer. I am going to be blackened and bruised, something that society probably does not need to experience. That'd lead to some very interesting Social Service phone calls.

I guess this marks the beginning to the end of this face. Just savor the photos that you have of it... and be open to what just might come out of this. Haha. I will try and update you with as much as I can... without giving you enough details to make you feel as if you were scrubbing in.

-CHELSEA
(I cannot believe that I am changing my bone structure. This is a biggggggggg thing.)